What is "Self-Care"? 

Whenever someone talks about "Self-Care", what do you think of?

Do you picture someone spending all their time going to the spa, or going to brunch

with their closest friends and enjoying bottomless mimosas?  

I know that for me for the longest time, that's what I thought.

I had this skewed view on what self-care looked like.

Somehow in my mind I saw self-care as being selfish... I was SO wrong!

Oh my gosh! I didn't realize until this last January just how wrong I was.

Because Christ has done such a work on my heart,

I am now able to see things with so much more clarity than I did before.

Do you want to know just how wrong I was about my view of “self-care”?

Story time!

So, I used to do facials/face masks every other night RELIGIOUSLY,

shave my legs every night without fail and make sure I used good moisturizing

lotion every night so that my skin was at it’s best at all times. Painted my nails to

match my pre-planned outfit for tomorrow's event.

Going through these random motions that most of us see and think “Oh that sounds

so lovely, what a relaxing way to spend the evenings”  BUT I wasn't doing it for me.

I was doing it for multiple wrong reasons... Mostly trying to catch the eye of a guy,

as well as competing with some of the girls around me. I was doing it for someone

else ALL the time! That's not self-care at all. That was actually making all the things

that would typically make me happy, and turning them into chores.

Neither of those reasons had any benefit to Me, OR to who I wanted to be!

Now, I have gone through some of the most trying and painful days of my life in these

last 2 years... (these stories will come in a later post, don't worry)

Leaving me questioning not only my self worth, but leaving me wondering and

questioning who I am at all. Am I that girl? Does everything that has happened to me

and that I have done define me?

Thankfully the answer to those two specific questions is No. I am not my past.

It was a self image issue. I didn’t love or value myself the way I should.  

It was time to have an honest check in with myself about where I was at.

I took the time to look deeper into myself and see that in the past, I really was doing all

these things for the wrong reasons, and I acknowledged it.

This couldn't have been timed any better for me,

because in this process I was trying to find my self worth again.

Honestly, I had to stop all my old habits; take the time to clear my mind and let God reset

the skewed view I had, not only the view I had of my own value, but what taking care

of myself really meant. It took about 6 months, and in that time I learned that if I want

to keep my sanity I needed two things; Christ’s love, forgiveness and guidance, and to

take the time for ME. Not in a selfish way like before, but by switching that time I was

spending on overthinking things that were out of my control, and turning it into bettering

myself; showing myself that I am worth it.

As soon as I truly embraced and accepted those facts, it became a whole lot easier for me

to take a deeper look at the need for true "self-care and self-love” and what that looks like.

It's not all brunch, spa days and bottomless mimosas. It’s more about taking time to

recharge MYSELF. Learning about what speaks to MY soul and gives ME peace.

It's not selfish, it's healthy, and VERY much something that everyone should do.

During this time of self-checking and analyzing my motives, I read these verses out of

Romans 12:1-2 (ESV) “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God,

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your

spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the

renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is

good and acceptable and perfect.” These words hit my soul so deeply.

With the craziness of the last two years I had gained so much weight that I couldn’t even

recognize myself in pictures anymore. So part of this process of “self-care” is to treat

myself with respect by losing the weight and getting my body back. It’s crazy to look

and see what happens when the blinders get removed from our eyes and we can see clearly

just how far we’ve gone, and how far we’ve let the enemy skew the way we see or think

about things that really should be positive and helpful. He can turn it into such a mess if

we aren’t careful. I am so glad that even though it hurt, I was able to grow from the

experiences that I was walking through. Christ has shown me just how screwed up my

thinking was and how far I had let the enemy come into my thoughts. Once I realized

what was going on in my own thoughts, I was able to identify where I

was falling short. The ways I thought I was caring for myself, was actually bringing me

more harm than good.

All because my OWN attitude and self perception was totally off

base. That is the difference. Is what we’re doing for ourselves, or is it because we want

to be different. This is where the true reasoning comes into play. Am shaving my legs

because it makes me feel good and like I have accomplished something, or am I doing

it to prove to the world that I have the time to make sure that my legs are as smooth as a

baby’s bottom, Every. Single. Day. If the honest answer is the second, (which it was)

clearly there is a problem. Not only was caring for myself based on the perception of being

noticed or accepted by another human, but my behavior wasn’t bringing any glory to God.

Nothing I was doing showed that I was trying to please the Lord, which is my utmost

goal in life. Taking care of the body that He gave me, all to please the world.

What a devastating thought. Sadly, it was more than just a thought, this was reality.

I know it may sound like this is some kind of incessant rambling, but I promise you I have

a point to all this.

So what do I do now? Now I spend my time focusing on things that will benefit MY future,

and that will reflect

what Christ is doing in my life. I read ACTUAL books! I write in a journal for HOURS.

Once a week (sometimes more often) I’ll do a facial/face mask, I paint my nails anytime

I’m tired of the color or they chip (whichever comes first) I will take the time to curl my

hair. I started listening to country music again because I love it.  But one of the biggest

hings that I’ve been working on is loving myself through this process. In every aspect of

the word, Mind, Body and Spirit. Eat healthy, think positive and be active;

and through it all just remembering this quote by Eleanor Brownn: "Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel."

Eat well, rest often, speak kindly and always make time for yourself. Spend time doing

what YOU love, not what might impress others.

XO

Stay Strong, Stay Blonde